How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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