Non-Jews are for practice
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
