why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
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