I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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