he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
