You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
