that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Randomize
