My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
