My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
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