I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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