god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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