We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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