Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
accomplished twins. life is a go
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
