So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
