I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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