dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
