and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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