okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
sick fucks of a feather flock together
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
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