The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I need to sanitize my soul.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
Randomize
