You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
