I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Randomize
