so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
