my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
