My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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