I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Randomize
