Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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