I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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