We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
