They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
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