i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
