I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
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