I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
i need some magic done to my vagina
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
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