shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
