6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
