Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
