I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
