were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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