Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
Randomize
