yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
