she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
