So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
i would punch a child for taco bell
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Randomize
