8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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