She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
