You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Every concussion has its silver lining
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
