so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
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