I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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