I can tuck mytits in my pants
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
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