sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
