dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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