It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
