i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
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