Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
