Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
whose ass print is on the piano?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
me + whiskey = a bad person
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
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